Friday, 26 February 2016

Pigeon Running

I've recently started running. I know, double big lolfest. People do keep laughing at the idea and I keep wincing in embarrassed agreement;

Me. Running. Sorry.

Running was always something I never really "got";
"You look cold and knackered and, frankly: stupid. Go home and eat a pie." But I secretly also envied the determination and commitment of runners. 

I've never considered myself overweight. A little tubby sometimes, but nothing that's been hard to shift. But at the back end of last year I felt sloppy. Some use the word "sluggish", but that doesn't suit how I felt. Sloppy skin, sloppy gut, sloppy hair, sloppy parenting, sloppy diet, sloppy confidence. Everything was subsiding and I needed something to pick it all up and put it back on the right shelves.

I met Becka (Vintage Edited) at a mutual friend's sewing class and she was so lovely and helpful. She spent more time loaning me her equipment and telling me I COULD do something, than she did doing her own stuff (soz Bex). We nattered away about vintage and trading opportunities (she hadn't set up "shop" yet) and I knew I liked her ethics. She came along to An Indie Kinda Christmas as a trader at her first event and told me about a running course she'd heard about. 

Ears pricked.

I was interested. I needed to not feel sloppy. There was a way out. A way to put things back on shelves. 
We signed up to a ten week running course which guarantees you to run 4 miles non stop by the end. Twice a week the course meets and we would be split into groups to work to our strengths and abilities. 

Week one

It turns out Becka not only knows the running club leader, she's also run a 10k in the past! There's me thinking we were in it together! She'd been mugging me off and was actually a running PRO! 

It actually worked out for the best, because we'd probably end up giggling and sillying about together and never completing and ending up in a pub half way round. 

Week four 

So. Running. It's something I do now. Twice a week. We are just rounding up week four and I've progressed from group three to group two (there are four groups, group one being the most competent. Guess which one Miss Running Pants Becka is in?!) 

I'm almost running 3 miles non-stop, which I keep being told is really good. This week, though, I've had it bad. We've had late meetings at meanwhile... and I've had a spell of tonsillitis, so I've been a bad runner. And I feel bad for it; physically and mentally. 

Why are you running?

Running is a moment in the week, however short, that I are solely me. I am not working, nappying, feeding, cooking, cleaning, washing, drying, folding, putting away, tidying, sweeping; I'm not opening a shop, running a shop, being a shop, sorting a shop; I'm not getting people where they need to be; I'm not talking, listening or peopleing; I'm not feeling guilty about not walking the dogs properly or feeding my baby properly, I'm not concerned what I look like (for the most part). 
I'm just moving all of my body all at once. And I'm running. 

This is the first "activity" I remember being a part of where I can compete against myself. There are multiple finishing lines that I can work towards and not have to complete if my body won't let me. 
Running the one thing I've ever felt good at that I know I can keep getting better at, if I keep going. Don't get me wrong, I knew I was good at being a mum, but that's all gone a bit shit since StanleyPigeon started being more grown up than me.

I feel like my head is empty when I run. Like no one else is rattling about in there NEEDING me. My phone is always on silent and my family know it's my running night, so I'm undisturbed for the most part. Other than the odd gossip with Becka before and after.

I usually always give up on these sort of things, I'll get bored, or get skint or get pregnant. But this is something that doesn't bore me, doesn't cost me and won't impregnate me (fingers crossed). 

I feel like I need to "cool down" my brain after writing this post, the same way I do after a run.
Stretch out the muscles and joints. Get from cool air running over my skin and through my hair.

I'm looking forward to a few solo running sessions, so would appreciate some running playlists, if anybody has any songs they'd recommend?

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